I’ve had a lot of people ask me questions about my fitness/health/wellness journey since I shared this photo last month.
I’ll admit; even I was shocked when I saw this photo. I work with a personal trainer here in Central Florida named James Hunt, who operates HUNT4FITNESS, and he shared the before and after photos with me. I had to take the month of April off from meeting with him so I could focus on completing my research paper for my first semester of graduate school (glad THAT’S done), but he gave me a workout plan to keep up with at home so I didn’t lose all my progress.
But it wasn’t until I saw the before and after photo that I realized how MUCH progress I had made over the course of several months. And it has made the journey worth it, in more than one way…
Getting Started
I’ve always been very self-conscious about my weight and my body since I was in middle school. When puberty hit, I just gained weight. I was big for my size, and being an introvert, shy and quiet, interested more in reading books than playing sports, I became an easy target for teasing and bullying. I found solace in food and continued to gain weight, which attracted more teasing, until I reached over 200 pounds in high school. Instantly, every tried to get me to play sports, but instead, I chose to join the drama club. Ironically, my first role was a lead role, but it required me to be shirtless (luckily, I was able to compromise and I just wore a white t-shirt instead, but was still self-aware of my body onstage.)
This self-awareness continued all through high school and into college, as I observed my peers develop muscular bodies and facial hair, while I continued to swell like a balloon and remained babyfaced.
Finally, I reached the tipping point; my sophomore year of college, I decided to participate in a scholarship pageant for men, which included a “pajama/bedroom scene” to show off our typical sleepwear. Since I wear gym shorts and a t-shirt, I was comfortable with that…until I realized the contestant ahead of me, a former football player and wrestler, was going on stage shirtless. So I decided (in February) that I was going to get in shape like him for the show (at the end of April).
Long story short, I didn’t get in shape, but I did lose a lot of weight and managed to keep a lot of that weight off me until I graduated college, moved to The Villages and started working full-time. The stress of my job, plus trying to maintain a social life in a city an hour and a half away, while living in a city that didn’t cater to my demographics meant many nights hitting up a restaurant or fast food joint, or binging watching Food Network while eating whatever and remaining only moderately active. I didn’t get huge again, but I did gain a bit of weight back and wanted to get small again, but also get the body I’ve always dreamed.
Once I moved back to Orlando, a close friend/mentor encouraged me to look into a gym membership or even a personal trainer to help me get on track. Through some research and looking around, that’s how I found my trainer and reached out to him in early September. He offered to take me through two workout sessions to assess where I was physically. And let me tell you, it was HARD!!! BOTH times, I nearly passed out, because my body had not gone through anything like that before. It wasn’t that the training was hard; my muscles were just not used to working that hard.
Once my trial period was over, he asked if I wanted to continue and go for it for real. After mulling it over a few days, I reached back out and said “Yes.”
The real work began…
Under Construction
We worked together to create a workout plan, a workout schedule, and a meal plan that I could follow. Really, the meal plan was what I was most curious about; being a foodie, who had spent years guessing what to eat, trying to make my own healthy recipes, and always going out to eat, I wondered what I was supposed to eat. I also wanted to see if I had to eat like I had heard other bodybuilders ate; chicken breast and broccoli every meal. To my surprise, the meal plan turned out to be something that I could manage and work with; several options for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and a few snack options to chose from. That part, I looked forward to.
The workouts, not so much in the beginning; meeting twice a week, we would run a mile in the beginning as a warm-up, then actual weight-training. The first day would be upper body workouts (training back, chest, arms and shoulders) while the second day would be legs (tons of squats, lunges and calf raises).
Honestly, I would be so embarrassed in the beginning; being a guy, and being a big as I am (weight-wise), I felt that I should have been stronger than I was, that doing these exercises should have been easy for me, but they weren’t. Many times, I had to break, struggling to keep up. Some days, I had to stop early because it was too much for my body to handle. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I was mad at myself, I wanted to give up and walk away forever. But my trainer was patient with me, and he told me that he had trainer football players bigger and stronger than me who had struggled, that sometimes HE struggled through his own workouts. But that I had to want it bad enough to keep going to see what I’ve always envisioned in my head. I even told him one goal I had was to become comfortable enough to do a full workout without my shirt one (hey, I needed some type of self-motivation, and that’s a big step for me).
So I kept going…
More Than Physical, But Mental As Well
As time went on, I began to grow stronger. I could run a little fast, last a little longer. Weight that had previously been a struggle for me to push became lighter and easier to move. I could do more reps, and last longer during my sets. At times, I would be surprised how much I could handle and how much more I wanted to put on my shoulders.
But it wasn’t just physical strength, but it was also my mental strength. I began to push myself; when I felt the burn and pain of the muscles being torn apart, I found some inner strength deep inside to keep going. Despite the pain, despite the weak moments, despite feeling tired and burned out, I found the strength to keep going. Possibly because I had a goal, a vision, in mind that I was hungry enough to work for. I wanted to see my body transform, to become more comfortable and confident in my own skin.
Transferable Skills, Moments and Lessons
What’s most amazing to me is how much of life can be related to my training. Now I understand why athletes are trained the way they are mentally; there really is a correlation.
Just as I am willing to fight for my health, how much more am I willing to fight for my faith? Am I willing to sacrifice time for my faith? What am I willing to change in order to grow stronger in my faith; old habits, old mindsets, old practices? What am I willing to do for my faith; read my Bible more, pray for faithfully and faith-fully, disciple other guys?
How much am I willing to fight for my education and my dreams; am I willing to sacrifice sleep and free time to work on my craft, just as I do for my body? Am I willing to step back from those things that feel good, but may be detrimental to my dreams, just as overindulging in sweets and junk food is bad for my health?
The same mindset, drive, ambition and dedication that I put into working on my body, my outer shell, I need to work on my mind and soul, my inner shell. Often times, I’m willing to do what it takes for my to get where I want to go with my health and body, but I’m lazy and slack on my own educational goals or my spiritual growth. But I can’t do that anymore, now that I’ve seen the fruit of my labor in the gym. How much sweeter is the fruit of getting my Master’s degree or becoming the man of God that God has destined and designed me to become?
“Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” – 1 Timothy 4:8 (NLT)
Another part of the training that I’ve learned is, I can’t do it alone. Actually, let me rephrase that; I can do it alone, but I can go much farther and do much better when I have someone in my corner.
This isn’t my first time lifting weights; I did so on my own for years, but never saw much growth or progress. Why not? Was I doing it wrong? In a sense, yes. I had no direction, no understanding, no clue what I was doing and didn’t have anyone to tell me “Hey bro, this is actually how you do this.” I was guessing the whole time and stumbling along the way, delaying my own growth. Once I started working with my trainer, though, I began to see the growth. It was slow at first, and for some time, I was convinced that it wasn’t working. But I had to learn to trust the process, keep the faith and keep going. And eventually, I saw the transformation take place.
It’s the same with life; deep inside is a streak of independence that has always kept me from reaching out to others to ask for help. But I’ve learned that, I don’t know how to navigate being an adult, I don’t know what it means to be a man of God in this generation. And stumbling along in the dark isn’t working for me anymore. So, just like my trainer keeps me accountable with my training and diet, I had to find older guys to walk with me, hold me accountable to becoming the man that I needed to be. Whether that was making sure I was staying focused on my school work, doing the hard things that comes with adulthood and manhood (as much as I resist at times, but eventually follow through) and offering advice on areas such as finances, goal-setting, relationships, growing in faith and more.
You’d be surprised how much you can learning from weight-training and sports…
Step By Step, Rep By Rep
As I said, the transformation I have gone through physically has been amazing. When I unveiled my body last month on social media, people were blown away at how much I had changed. I had lost nearly 20 pounds, dropped half my body fat and you could see solid muscle gains all over my body (you can even see where my abs are forming!). People commented and shared my transformation and many people asked me more about my trainer and what I had done. Even going to church, people just FLOODED me with compliments on my body.
And in case you are wondering, my final workout with him at the end of March, I did workout shirtless…
But what ISN’T seen so easily is the confidence that I’ve begun to gain, not just because I look good, but I feel good about myself. Just the other week, someone asked me, “Have you gotten taller, too?” As far as I know, I haven’t, but the fact that I’m becoming more confident as a person and as a man is reflected even in my posture; I’m not slouching as much as I was before, but standing up straight and tall, head up, chest out and shoulders back, like a man. I’m not hiding my body beneath layers of bulky clothes, but dressing in more fitted, youthful clothes (not like a 67-year-old deacon from Augusta, but like the 27-year-old young man that I am becoming). I’m speaking with a little more confidence, coming out of my shell a little more, even willing to step up and lead a little bit more.
Now, I’m not where I want to be yet, even physically. I still have goals for my physical health, but also for my mental, emotional, financial and spiritual health as well. But that’s part of the journey. Step by step, I’m walking toward the place I want to be in my life. Even today, five months into the year, I’m growing even more into my own person; learning to stand up for myself and my convictions, developing my own style, sound and voice, becoming more of whom I’m meant to be. Just like each repetitive rep has helped to make me stronger, each repetitive step is leading me toward my greatest good.
Am I going to stumble? Oh yeah. But that’s okay; I expect that, because I’m learning to embrace that I’m young and dumb, I’m not perfect, I’m going to make some mistakes. I’m only 26, so struggling is part of the journey. And that’s okay; it’s okay for me to be 26 and struggling…as long as I stumble forward!
Keep watch, because I’m going to keep walking forward. No more looking back (expect to see how far I’ve come and see the muscles in my back develop)!
The Book of James 
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