It’s my birthday!!! And who would I be if I didn’t stop, think, reflect, blog and post about the past year of growth in my life?
I wouldn’t be Drexler. And there lies the greatest area of growth for me.
Turning 26
When my birthday came last year, to be honest, I wasn’t expecting anything and I wasn’t planning anything. Four days before my birthday, I finally moved out of The Villages (although I had two weeks left of my apartment lease) and back to Orlando, moving in with a close college friend. And honestly, that was good enough for me; the ability to move back to Orlando, back to a city I loved and wanted to live in again…I didn’t need anything else.
But thank God He has placed me around friends who care about me a little bit more than I care about myself. They were able to convince me to agree to a dinner after praise team practice the night of my birthday, which was actually a surprise dinner with many good friends there to celebrate me…including my favorite foods, some gifts, and someone paid the bill for me! Needless to say, that was a great start to the next year of my life.
Growing Pains
Of course, every year, you pray and believe that you will grow and mature over the year.
This year was no different in the start, but the execution was different. Because this year, with me living in Orlando again, closer to friends and family and church, there was no escaping and hiding from what God had for me. This year, I began to connect and plug in with people a little more, a little deeper…especially with older men.
Building connections and deeper relationships with guys has always been tough for me. Most guys I talk to are only concerned with superficial things like sports, beers, cars, women. And, not that there is anything wrong with those topics, but I want to go beyond the surface and dig a little deeper. I don’t like small talk in general, so holding conversations like that does not interest me.
But I found a team of guy, a team of strong men, that I could connect with and help me as I grew and developed and matured into an adult and into a man.
The process hasn’t been easy in the slightest. I had to put down my pride, cast aside fear, let go of my ego, release some pain and struggles from the past, get over insecurity, be willing to be open and vulnerable, listen and accept correction (no matter how harshly I felt it was directed at me) and be willing to step outside my comfort zone. And it wasn’t just in one area; there were many areas where I had to be pushed; physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, relational. There were so many areas of growth that I was pushed in – some areas that I didn’t even know needed to be addressed.
I won’t lie; there were several points where I wanted to stop, where I began to question if the growing pains were all worth it, if I really wanted this. But at those times, I found myself reflecting on how long and how many times I prayed for people to walk with, to grow and become confident and secure in myself as a person and, especially, as an adult and as a man. And this was a part of that process. On my own, I had been guessing what to do, but now, I had people to help me – if I was open and available to the help!
Turning 27
A few weeks ago, I really began to reflect on the past year and all the changes and transitions I had gone through:
* A new position in a new college at work (I’m still at UCF, but my job position changed in an interesting and surprising way)
* My health and my body was in the best condition it had ever been in (I legit have a six-pack coming out my body and I’ve dropped from an XL shirt to a S/M now…the smallest I’ve ever been)
* Working toward earning two master’s degrees, both of which are being covered by my job
But even beyond what people see on the surface is the growth in the little things behind the scenes. The confidence that has begun to come out. The faith that has gotten stronger. The pain of my past that I’ve released from my life and the new direction that I’ve taken forward into accepting who I am and who I am meant to be.
I’ve begun to dream and push myself to do things I never thought I would do. I have actual goals that I’m working towards, such as working on a book and writing and recording music, both with my church family, my friends and even for myself. I’m continuing to train, with the idea to compete in a men’s physique show next summer. I’m saving money to buy a home. This year, I even planned a celebration with my friends (which for me is a huge deal, because I never want to plan anything for myself).
The other night, I was looking at my church’s live-stream of our Sunday service, during which I had to lead worship. As I watched the video, I kept thinking to myself, “When did I get tall?” I’ve always known myself to be tall, but I felt like I had grown even taller just watching that video. The way I stood up, straight-backed and strong.
This is the new me that I’m starting to walk into. I’ve walked in it from time to time, but now it’s time to make this person more consistent. A person that people will see every time I enter the room. Someone with confidence. Someone bold and self-assured.
Someone who knows who he is and whose he is. 
The Book of James 