Trust and Believe: Living in and Building Great Faith

“Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?'” Matthew 14:31.

I’m a person of many words (or so I have been told).

It makes sense though; I’m a writer, a journalist, a poet, a songwriter. Words are my gift, my talent to the world, the one thing that I have spent my entire life working with, the craft that I’m constantly developing.

But there are moments that arise where words are not enough to express my thoughts and emotions.

This season is one of those times.

And what season is that? The season of mind-blowing, overflowing great faith.

Do It Again…For Them

I’ve gone to church pretty much my whole life.

As far back as I can remember, Sunday morning were spent sitting on the pews next to my mother with my little children’s Bible with the highly colored pages illustrated pages and the words printed in red. Growing up, I participated in church activities, to the point where almost every weekend, I was doing something related to the church, all the way through college and even now into my adult life; a large part of my life is tied to the church.

Because of my activities and affiliation with the church, people have always told me that I had great faith, that I was a prayer warrior, that I was a mighty man of God, mighty man of valor, etc. In fact, some people even would lean on my faith, believing that I had such a connection with God that my prayers would reach heaven before their own prayers.

Over and over again, I would see God do remarkable things for other people, through my faith and prayers. I had a co-worker who was going to lose her job if she didn’t get a new car by Monday and I told her that very night (a Thursday night) that she would have a new car…and that night she drove off the parking lot in a new vehicle!. I’ve prayed for healing in other people’s bodies and seen God touch them and heal them in ways that no one could explain. I’ve seen breakthroughs in people’s lives that would make you say “But God.”

And yet, when it came to me, I didn’t believe God could do it for me. And honestly, it hurt me and frustrated me many times. How could God hear my prayers for others, but not for me? Why did I see breakthroughs in the lives of those around me, but my own life seemed to be falling apart with each prayer? What was wrong with my faith?

Nothing was wrong with my faith; something was wrong with my faith for me. I could believe what God could do for others, because I had seen Him do it and believed He would do it again. But I seemed to develop “spiritual amnesia” when it came to what God did in my own life, especially because I wasn’t consistent with my own prayers for myself like I was for other.

Oh Ye of Little Faith…

If you know the story of Jesus on the water (Matthew 14:22-33), you know that Peter wanted to join Him and Jesus said “Sure. Come.” So Peter got out the boat and began to walk to Jesus. But he became consumed with what was happening around Him and eventually took His eyes off Jesus and started to sink. As he sank, he cried out to Jesus, “Help me!” And Jesus came to His rescue, but then Jesus asks, “Oh ye of little faith, why did you doubt?”

As familiar as this story is to me, when I started thinking about it a little more recently, I came to some revelations:

A) Peter let his circumstances influence his faith: When Peter first saw Jesus on the water, he wanted to join him, he wanted to be on the water. But as he began walking, he started looking around him, looking at the storm, the wind, the waves,t he lightening, and started to lose faith. I can imagine him thinking “Man, this is scary. Man, this is hard. Man, this is too much; I can’t face this, I can’t handle this.” How many times has doubt caused us to stop looking ahead at Jesus, the One waiting for us to come to Him?

B) When Peter began to sink, he called to Jesus, but wasn’t looking at Jesus : Peter’s prayer, to me at least, felt like a shot in the dark. He was calling for help, but I have a feeling that he was still looking at the storm around him. I can imagine Peter sinking into the sea, water up to his chest, trying to keep his head above water, calling for help, but his eyes were nowhere near his help, who was standing nearby. How often do I send up a prayer for myself, not really focusing on Jesus, but throwing words and phrases and hoping they stick while I’m still consumed with what’s happening around me?

C) Jesus saved Peter, but He questioned his faith: Jesus came right away to help Peter, but asked why his faith had wavered. The phrase “Oh ye of little faith” is a familiar one, but I sometimes wonder if Jesus really wanted to say “Man, you could have made it. You didn’t have to sink and need to be rescued if you just kept going.” When I feel like God did answer my prayers, often times, it felt like it was a last resort response, or a “just-in-the-nick-of-time” situation. But I know God is greater and bigger than just a get out of trouble card. Peter originally had faith, but lost it when things got hard. And Jesus asked “Why? You see what I can do, and you know what I said to you, so what’s the trouble?”

It’s The Little Things

So how does this all tied together for me? Let me explain…

This past year has been a year of digging up a lot of unstable foundations and replacing them with a firmer faith and trust in God. I’ve encountered PLENTY of situations where my faith was shaken loose, where I questioned of God would come through, trying to pray my way through while still too focused on the problem. And God came through, just as He always does, but then, a few weeks (sometimes even days) later, I’m sinking again, maybe even deeper.

Until finally, I had a couple of guys that are discipling me (hmm…disciple, a word that I always avoided…that’s a whole separate blog post for another time) speak some hard truth to me about standing firm on God’s promises.

And it started with believing God for the little. One of them (our youth pastor, James Monk, who holds no chasers with me) challenged me to start tithing again to the church, believing that, because I was faithful to give back what belonged to God, that He would provide (long story short, I had stopped tithing to try and save money, but always seemed to still be behind on my bills).

So, I agreed to start tithing. Almost as soon as I did, I suddenly started getting money like side hustles that I was doing – more money than I was expecting and money that I needed to pay my bills on time. Even when I thought I wouldn’t have enough, God always made sure that I was covered in some small way, to the point where I was starting to have money left over after paying bills that should have been gone.

That might be small to you, but to someone who has always struggled financially, that was mind-blowing. Like God, you really care about this. You really came through. Well, I’m going to keep going.

So one of the other guys discipling me (our children’s pastor TJ Luke, who always has some challenge for me to grow and mature me) challenged me to start praying through the different attributes of who God was, but to also start declaring that God already said would be done; to no longer just ask or say, but decree and declare.

Shortly before Christmas, the opportunity to put that faith to the test arose. A co-worker came to visit my church with her family, including her oldest son who was on crutches and scheduled to have surgery the following Wednesday. While chatting with them, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to pray for healing for her son’s leg. So I asked if I could pray, which they agreed and I prayed for healing. A few days later, she came to my office to tell me that, Monday afternoon, they had gone to the doctor to prepare for surgery…only for the doctor to tell them he didn’t need it; his leg was pretty much healed!

Now that’s major; to see God move like that through me, in faith! And it started with me praying for God’s power to move in me.

So TJ began encouraging/challenging me to pray the Scriptures over myself and my situation. And my daily prayers include promises of what God has said He can and will do, by my faith. And it seems, over and over again, I’m seeing Him move in ways that, previously, I didn’t believe He would.

Building on (Great) Faith

For the past few weeks, my church (Orlando World Outreach Center, in case you forgot or this is your first blog you’ve read by me…in which case, welcome) has been in a series entitled Great Faith. The series has been laying the groundwork for the great things that we are believing and anticipating God doing in our lives, individually and as a church body.

Can I tell you that this sermon has been doing a work in my heart? Each week I go to church, I left with something to encourage and build my faith (I think it was the second or third week, I actually cried silently in my seat because Pastor Tim was just HITTING on some things in my heart that were buried deep).

Entering a new year, you always have high hopes and expectations for great things. But the past few years, I’ve set the bar low, not just for me, but even with God, because I didn’t want to have high hopes and great faith and be disappointed.

But if it’s one thing that God has been showing me, over and over again, is that I can have great faith, in the big things and the small things, and He will come through. Maybe not when I want to, or even while I’m around to see the fruit, but my faith has to be greater than my circumstances and I can’t doubt or waiver because things aren’t going how I want them to. I can’t be afraid to walk in faith in what God has shown me (and there are a few things He has shown me to blow my mind that He wants to walk me into in this season and the next).

So, while I live in this season of having my mind blown by the little things that God is taking care of for me, I’m excited to see the big things that He will do because He meets me at my (great) faith.